That title is an Australian joke for Australians, but we don't care where you're from - you can have a go!
So, you'd like to voice a character for our show?
Here's how it works:
We go through our voice list quickly sometimes, and while our top tier patrons get first pick of some of the new stuff (special patron voice over link here), there's often a sudden opportunity that arises - so don't be afraid to throw your hat into the ring! We also like to match parts to specific voices.

Here's what we've done:

Below are the 'mini-test-scripts' for people to record which give us a chance to hear the voices on offer, and then write something that suits everyone specifically. Also it helps me hear the quality of the recording and get a rough idea of turn-around time!

We can only offer speaking roles to individuals over 18 years of age as we are listed as an explicit language podcast.

So, here are the scripts. Pick one, or pick them all - whatever shows off your voice the best. Record somewhere quiet without echo - and go big. We love the drama! Finally, email them in mp3 form to the address below:
Hi, I'm <insert name here - feel free to call yourself anything you'd like except anything we can't publish!> and I play Nalor, the Triton Wizard.

For hundreds of years my people have protected the towers from that thing beneath the seas.

We are the reason it was banished, we are the ones who are drained to keep it locked away, We are the last line of defense against such immeasurable anger and insurmountable aggression.

When we fall, all will fall.

Do not underestimate this moment! Do not look to slide quietly into the shadows of history. Yours was not a name to be remembered.

But that does not mean your actions will be as easily ignored.
Hold. Your. Ground."
Nalor, Triton Wizard
"Hi, I'm <insert name here - feel free to call yourself anything you'd like except anything we can't publish!> and I play Siliane of the Silent Leaves.

"Now then... that's quite far enough. Let's just have you stop right there lest we waste arrows upon your... rather... sullied flesh. Even the gods must be awake!
Each of your riotous steps echoing through these forests like some lumbering and, one can only imagine, well... fed... beast. There can't be one left among us who still sleeps.

And now, as they wake, the horrors of your... wafting sensations will be quite the reminder of why we keep these roads closed and indeed hidden.I would ask that you state your purpose, but surely, destroying the well maintained culture and sensibilities of my people must be high among your goals.

Speak now, but let's at least try to keep some of your stench... inside. The trees have already been through so much!"
Siliane, Silent Leaves
Hi, I'm <insert name here - feel free to call yourself anything you'd like except anything we can't publish!> and I play Rose Ruby from Shenanigans Family Restaurants.

Good evening and welcome to Shenanigan's Family Restaurants - where your dinner is our destiny. Can I interest you in a starter? We have Roasted Sand Worms delivered daily from The Orchestral Sands,or perhaps you'd prefer something from our new Vegan-friendly menu like our Mega Mushroom Meal
where each mushroom is carefully harvested from the hairy back of a Brood Mother spider. No? Ok.

Well, perhaps a drink then? Mead for Me? We have both Thunder Plus and Thunder Plus-ette, which is the same but in a taller glass with a cherry... a Vegan-friendly cherry."
Rose Ruby, Shenanigan's Family Restaurants CEO
Hi, I'm <insert name here - feel free to call yourself anything you'd like except anything we can't publish!> and I play a page from The Book of Secrets - Shhhh!.

Page 37.
Your secret is simple,
No surprise or concern,
It's about your people,
of them you shall learn.

From the past, they wander,
bound by time, bound by space,
in absence, hearts grow fonder,
but they long for a place.

A haven, a body
a warm hearth for their souls,
all hidden... this "god" he,
wants their tale left untold.

Alas, he you must find
this being you will seek
and he reaches for you
to conjure a world most bleak
The Book of Secrets, The Library of Vasinor
Frequently Given Answers
Yes, we do our best to get to everyone.
No, we don't succeed on that front!
Feel free to reach out!
We're actually pretty nice.
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Please do not use them in commercial projects.
Please ignore the "please".

(c) Girls Who Don't D&D 2023
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